B safe 1st always... that is the message


An Important Note First:

NONE of the letters on this website from GP's are from my current GP Practice. I have attended several since. My last GP practice was not involved in any of the things I wrote about on this website, ALL of which happened years BEFORE I went to that GP practice. But sadly it is true that things did not improve. And as of June 2015 I had to change and start at a new practice, and I hope things will improve.

I BELIEVE in the NHS. In May 2014, while having to undergo a procedure at Winchester Hospital I was frightened, and an NHS Nurse gently squeezed my hand. This is what the NHS and staff are all about, care and compassion. Also in June 2015 at both Winchester Hospital Cardiology Department and days later a nurse from Basingstoke Hospital Cardiac Unit  I was shown care and compassion. Despite my bad experiences I do not forget that. THEY are the NHS we want to save.  

You will never meet someone who believes in the NHS more. BUT, that is why, when things are not right, we need to speak up and out. It is the bad people I have fought against, some good were caught in between them for sure. One day I hope that along with the good people in the NHS, we can stand TOGETHER and rid the NHS / GP's of anyone mistreating any vulnerable people. It is not me or people like me, who undermine it, it is the bad people.

Below there are seven pages related to me speaking out. 

Introduction to: FAILED by the system


Hi, I'm John Harrison, this site was originally brought about because of my own personal experiences as a child abuse survivor, who was failed by the system, especially in my early thirties when my health deteriorated. I was also failed by others including charities, when I stood up against this many years ago. On this site there are Documents, Poems, Videos, and Letters to and from the UK MP's and PM's representatives, the Queens representatives, DR's and more. My experience, and others have showed, that some are NOT being helped properly. And because of this, some are also put at great risk health wise, while in terribly traumatic situations. This just adds to the situation that they are already suffering. I challenge this state of affairs. 

Through these experiences I also know that much of the systems complaints procedures and departments just don't work for us, and that the legal system can also fail the vulnerable. Many are too weak to go through these processes anyway. I have fought against this, as I do not accept vulnerable people being ill treated, and being denied care and compassion. I do not accept people in organisations failing us, and being allowed to. My true crime was to need help, through no fault of my own, and asking for it, because I had no choice. All I want is true accountability. Those who deny the vulnerable help through ignorance, negligence or worse, MUST NOT be allowed to continue in the positions they hold, whoever or whatever they are. The compassionate, and decent people, need not worry about any of that. I believe in the NHS and other organisations, but I have sadly come across too many, whose actions, and denial, shows they don't, even though they work within them. 

If you have had a better experience (as others have). Then I am glad. But this is what we want ALL to experience. And this will only happen, if we stand up against it, when it doesn't.

In the right hand sidebar, you will find some useful organisations and links. Although this site is run by an adult, I am aware that young people may see this website. You can see the Childline number AND website in the right hand side bar.

This was one of the things that happened to me via one of the nicer Psychiatrists: after visiting one Psychiatrist they wrote to my Dr and said:  "He did not appear mentally unwell, just plain miserable" (even IF it was true, is that a professional opinion? or way to behave to a vulnerable person? to see the document Click here) but only three months before that they wrote that I had "long standing severe depression". I know this because I used the data protection act to gain access to my records. :( To sum up the treatment I got from them, you can see a one minute video poem called 'Psychiatric Diet' on Youtube

If you want to know, what I'm not, despite what some have said. Then check out my video 'The Fact is on' YouTube. There are hundreds more, not all on mental health and abuse of course... but sadly too many that reflect what went on and what goes on. 

The extra pages aim to help show how things are NOW for many. Expose this for change to come. And Promote real true Accountability. Airing the silent voice of one of many. Showing that WE are able to speak out. And hope that others will then know, they are not alone.


'Raising awareness of the consequences of child abuse in later life' 


More details and documents about what happened and what I then did:

There are some VERY IMPORTANT SEPARATE PAGES this page links to below. These 7 pages are not on the navigation bar. IF you want to see details, which help prove what happened to me, and the failing system I exposed. Then take a look at them: 

'Documents' this page has a hand full of the seven hundred pages I have collected about my health, letters I wrote and paperwork I got through three times using the data protection act. These were among those I regularly sent to the MP's etc.

'Wont Help Himself?' this page is what was said about me, by the bad people involved in my case (health care professionals). This page helps prove how what was said was NOT true. With evidence to the contrary to what was said.

The 'Illness?' page goes along the same lines as the above page.

'Statement' this page shows some letters I sent to the health care providers (among others) about what is and was happening. It was my way of saying the truth, to those who were strong, when I was vulnerable, but who were wrong, when I was right. And I wanted them to know, I would fight on, with the truth, against the wrong doings by them.. or those who failed and fail to act.

'My Campaign', 'The campaign in 2009' and 'The campaigns latest' they are all about what happened leading up to me contacting the Prime Minister and others, about my issues with those in the system who had failed me AND who were not and are not accountable. On these pages you will find some important letters I sent and received, including a response to writing to the Queen (see at the bottom).

Situation... Distress

This is a true story / event that happened to me, one of many that led me to start speaking out about the mistreatment by the system and health care professional, especially the mental health service, while in extreme distress regarding my Mental Health and Child Abuse. 

Names have been changed apart from my own, to Protect the?


Situation... Distress. John's in his flat that he moved into recently that year. His friend Jane is there. John is struggling with the recent realization of being a victim of Child Abuse, and of not being helped by the ones that should. He feels bursts of anger within through frustration and shear helplessness. He’s talking to Jane. She is his sounding board. But not enough tonight as he grabs a table from his bay window and throws it across the room. It break’s as it hits the floor. Jane is scared for John. John is scared. Why won’t they help him? What next? Jane is concerned as she has been before so she rings casualty. The nurse talks to Jane. John hears but doesn’t hear. Then Jane asks John questions. John doesn’t know what the Fuck to say. He’s Fucked and needs help is all he really knows right now. It’s too much. Jane hands John the phone. The nurse speaks. John isn’t up to this. He looks at Jane and hands her the phone. "I don’t know what she’s on about" he says. Jane talks. Apparently the Doctor won’t come and see John... too dangerous. So Jane takes John up to casualty. Jane and her husband Dave are good friends. The only ones Johns got right now. Its evening as they arrive at casualty. John is walking with his hands on his head pushing against his temples the pain in his head it’s just too much. Shortly after arriving they enter a small room off the waiting area. Dr Why is sitting down, stuff is said. John feels like the Doctor is saying that John is blaming everyone else for his misfortune. John is angry at this. It’s not like that. He paces the short distance of the room. He goes too near the door for Jane’s liking. He might leave. She stands in his way in case he does. He turns and continues pacing again. He’s very distressed. He says what he always says when these situations take place, the truth how it is, how he feels. But these situations are far too familiar to him. Just like the end result has become and whose fault it is. Dr Why says "They won’t see him when he’s like this" Unbelievable. More stuff is said. Now they wait for what's next. John exits the room while they wait for the answer. Holding his head again hands pressing on his temples elbows high he walks around the corner, slumping down on the floor in a long corridor. Still with hands against his head pushing his temples crying, as he turns to the right slightly angles his head up to see Jane looking on. Standing at the beginning of the corridor she's as helpless as he is to do anything. He knows that look. He himself has had that look as he looked on at someone in distress and people wouldn’t help them too. Shortly afterwards she takes him in the car to hospital (again). Talking to John she is trying to get him to behave so they will now finally help him. But within days the outcome that was already decided, has been decided. As they tell him that he isn’t ill and doesn’t need their help. And now must go home. 

Remember only the names have been changed. Now what was it Dr Why said? "They won’t see him when he's like this". Let’s break that statement down. It’s not a word game. But let’s fill in the details. 


They - The Mental Health 

won’t see him - won’t see John 

when he's like this. - when he's in Mental Distress. 

So now what was it that Dr Why was actually saying?


"The Mental Health won’t see John, when he's in Mental Distress."


Letter received after writing to the Queen in 2009



Well IF you wish to see more on the details and proof of the failures in the system I encountered, then the NEXT page will be one of seven pages as shown in the above content. Documents

IF however you just wish to browse generally through the site for now, then this is the NEXT page for you Raising Awareness


"As someone being abused OR who was, YOU have the RIGHT to be away from people (ANYONE) making it worse for you, despite how some may act or what they may say"

John Harrison. B safe 1st always... that is the message.

Samaritans HELPLINE

Samaritans HELPLINE is here 24 / 7

Are you vulnerable? Feeling low?

Then why not call:

UK & ROI: 116 123

PLEASE call or reach out to

that someone... TODAY

NAPAC (click on icon)



For Children: Childline:

Are you a child who

needs to talk to someone?

ChildLine is here for YOU

Call ChildLine on UK 0800 1111

or visit the website.

Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre below:

The Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre is dedicated to eradicating the sexual abuse of children.

Part of UK policing about tracking and bringing offenders to account either directly or in partnership with local and international forces.

A list of worldwide Helplines (click on icon):

Links to Befrienders website for a

WORLDWIDE list of Helplines.


Citizens Advice Bureau (UK)

The Citizens Advice Bureau

provide FREE advice in the UK

Visit their website to find out more.



FAILED by the system

CLICK HERE to see more details on

how the system FAILED me and the

campaigning and exposure of this

I have done for over a decade

Queens response to my letter

The "Reaching out" Child Abuse Monument in Canada...


To find out more use this link

My video poem below 'Our Silence'

that will be inside the monument