B safe 1st always... that is the message


Documents note

The Documents below were sent to the Prime Minister of the time and others as some proof of the things I have been saying, first sent in 2008. It was also contained within the letter I sent to the BBC not long after. I could go on in to a mass of detail. But I will leave it at that for now. I believe that people even in these few letters of the 700 plus Documents that I do have can see through what others have said. They have contradicted them selves so many times. And a lot worse. Please remember in all of this a very innocent and vulnerable person. A few quick points many years later they rely on saying they new I was ill and they treated me. The letters (their own) say different at the start. But they new unbeknown to me at the time about the child abuse I had suffered and that it would cause significant problems issues (understandably) with my health later. Of which after receiving my medical records I began to be horrified by how much they new. And other assertions they have said about me not contained below. It all made what they did and didn?t do so so much worse for me. Even when they called into question if I even had a mental illness they were giving me drugs for it either way. You can clearly see the discrepancies. And I have lots and lots more of these. There are so many aspects of what is said about me which is not true and incorrect. And an ex chief executive of an NHS Trust who I contacted (the last letter at the bottom) after two so called investigations could not get the fact that its four stays in hospital not three. And unlike what he says that I alone discharged myself each time. I have proof they discharged me three of the four stays in hospital. One of these you can see on the illness? page. A nurse documents this for all to see.

Note this line: "It is difficult to see really how we can help him because he is not really mentally ill". Now for a while I had been saying I was not well, in that way. And due to this letter, I then had to go private. I could not really afford this, but for health reasons, I couldn't afford not doing so. Remember letters like this that go against what they (CMHT, NHS) say happened. Their own letters prove what I said all along. 

After I could no longer pay for private care, because I was getting into debt, I was referred back to my local CMHT. I had a very positive letter from the private Doctor, who said I could no longer afford treatment, and deserved help locally. Now that wouldn't have gone down well. I mean, my local CMHT had said I wasn't really mentally ill. I should not have had to pay private in the first place. But no one wanted to say this, as I could have got the money back. But I wasn't well enough for all that. On the 'Wont help himself' page, you can see extracts from the letter of the private Dr, and he's being very positive about my work in helping myself. The CMHT and others over the years, had people believe the opposite. but I can tell you the one significant difference... THEM. And thats a fact. Its the only reason my health got as bad as it did.  

Well this letter is now telling a different story. I'd like to tell you that they took my health seriously. But later you will see how they reverted back to the "he aint ill" mode. This was due to them getting it very wrong. And they didn't really want to admit it. They contradicted themselves... in writing a lot.


"He did not appear mentally unwell, just plain miserable" is this a way of talking about a patient? even if it was true? They say Doctors take depression seriously... do they always? Depression whether short term or long term IS a killer. This sort of stuff being said should show you the kind of care I received (NOT) from them. It should also show what compassion I received (NOT) too. All this information was available to many, including my own Doctors surgery. I was neglected and worse by those who were supposed to be caring for me. No one to this day has stood up against this. What if it was you? or someone you loved? how would you feel? When we allow this to happen at all, to anyone, anyone can be next. I'm always hoping one day, someone will really look and act. The vulnerable are being mis treated. This is a fact. My vulnerability was used against me, because I couldn't have a real voice to fight back at the time. But it didn't stop me trying, of which, they used against me, to blame me. I didn't have to fight back against the private Dr who was a helpful supportive person. Who helped me HELP MYSELF. This again is proven. 

Mmmm. Note: "He insists he is mentally ill although I can find no evidence of this at the present time". These are the same people who couldn't before. Come on people, what does that really say? does it say something about me or them? As you can see, this is another "He's not ill" quote. Again later they would say something very different. They would say they helped me. Notice the negative attitude to me? At this time I was fighting back, didn't go down to well with them. But think about it, one of us is the patient, and the other the person who is supposed to be a professional. Not ill and will discharge me... and did. And that deteriorated my health so bad, my then friends became worried. It made me think even more about my own death. I felt (noted in the bridge I wrote at the time), I just as well do myself and everyone a favor and jump. I can also prove that at about this time, I had been working really hard on my physical fitness, to help myself. But he (and they) didn't know, because they weren't doing their job properly. They just continually said it was me, my fault, or I wasn't ill. And all the above just made a vulnerable person more so FACT.

I tried several times to get a second opinion. And it took many times, over a many years. I wonder why that was? And I could tell you about that carefully worded second opinion, but I wont bother. By now even with these few letters, you should be able to see where it all went. Either, he's not ill or its his fault, he won't help himself etc etc.

Well well well, here we go again, he's not mentally ill. This is the main so called psychiatrist again. Again this is very different to what the NHS and others implied had happened. When I complained and tried to get it investigated properly... which it was not. Oh and also, the psychiatrist who I was referred to see for a second opinion, is being contacted by the very psychiatrist that gave the first opinion. This is wrong. He also discusses me, how could he not, he's admitted talking to him. That is wrong. And he then tells my Dr that the other psychiatrist wont be taking me on. He was not asked to. He was asked to give a second opinion. Do I really need to say whats going on here? its so obvious. This is and was inappropriate. My psychiatrist had every interest in me not getting a second opinion. Can you feel the self interest in these Drs? And can you not see the patients not even come into it? And you can also see in the last part of my then psychiatrists letter to my Dr, how he gets funny with him about how to refer me to another Dr. I mean, what would be the point, if someone gets in the way of that second opinion anyway?

Here we go. NO SYMPTOMS, NO ILLNESS, NO PROBLEMS. Na, this just isn't true. And again this is not what they were implying happened years later when it was supposed to be investigated. 

Now this is what happened. And this is one of many things that DID happen. And though vulnerable, I fought back all the way when ever I could. After years of trying to get them to put it right, I was left with no choice but to keep fighting it all. Look at what has been said by them. Totally different from what they imply later. What I say did happen. Again one day someone may actually do something about them, Its never too late to make them accountable for their actions and inactions.  


This is his second time of writing to me about his so called investigation. And he still couldn't get the number of stays in hospital right, along with everything else. Its four NOT three. This is important as he said he investigated it. And if you do, and you don't get the facts right, then its no good. What kind of investigation is it? And especially about something so serious. And quoting I'd seen allot of Doctors tries to imply something. How many doctors I saw, or nurses, was not in dispute. Its what happened when I saw them that is, and matters. Look at the letters above. Does it show what he's saying is true? or does it call it into question? When the Healthcare Commission wrote to him first, he replied that he didn't have allot of information to give. This was after I'd already contacted him, and his first so called short response of denial came. Well I knew there was allot of information about me, as I had used the data protection act to get my medical files. And I can tell you I have a box FULL of A4 paper JUST about my mental health. The Healthcare Commission then wrote back to him. And guess what? he then replied with a longer letter. So there was more information then, I wander why it was said there wasn't? He talks of what they said I had. One of those things I've never seen on any of my papers before. It says things that if you read just a sample of  all the papers I have got. Just is not the case. And the reference to drugs was just a low shot to the belt. And it just isn't true. Do you want this chief executive in charge of your care? He's now moved onto another trust. Do you want these Doctors and Nurses and Hospitals being allowed to do this to a vulnerable person? someone you know? someone you don't? you? What happened is exactly what I told the Healthcare Commission would happen. That far from investigate, he would ask those involved or just copy down what they say happened, and take it as fact.

The fact is the evidence of nearly everything I've ever said IS there. And over a decade and I'm still fighting to expose this. No one has cared enough to do anything about it. What kind of health service will we have if we allow these things to go on? They have no place in it. You can see in the sample of letters what went on. Oh, and its very carefully worded his response to my health. Something that can cover anything, but not say anything.

I will fight on alone. What I have been saying all these years is true. 

Questionable Anger...



Together we can... Break the Silence and End the Denial.

Lets make them all Truly Accountable.



Important note:

NONE of the letters on this website from GP's are from my current GP Practice. I have attended several since. My last GP practice was not involved in any of the things I wrote about on this website, ALL of which happened years BEFORE I went to that GP practice. But sadly it is true that things did not improve. And as of June 2015 I had to change and start at a new practice, and I hope things will improve.

I BELIEVE in the NHS. In May 2014, while having to undergo a procedure at Winchester Hospital I was frightened, and an NHS Nurse gently squeezed my hand. This is what the NHS and staff are all about, care and compassion. Also in June 2015 at both Winchester Hospital Cardiology Department and days later a nurse from Basingstoke Hospital Cardiac Unit  I was shown care and compassion. Despite my bad experiences I do not forget that. THEY are the NHS we want to save.  

You will never meet someone who believes in the NHS more. BUT, that is why, when things are not right, we need to speak up and out. It is the bad people I have fought against, some good were caught in between them for sure. One day I hope that along with the good people in the NHS, we can stand TOGETHER and rid the NHS / GP's of anyone mistreating any vulnerable people. It is not me or people like me, who undermine it, it is the bad people.


"As someone being abused OR who was, YOU have the RIGHT to be away from people (ANYONE) making it worse for you, despite how some may act or what they may say"

John Harrison. B safe 1st always... that is the message.

Samaritans HELPLINE

Samaritans HELPLINE is here 24 / 7

Are you vulnerable? Feeling low?

Then why not call:

UK & ROI: 116 123

PLEASE call or reach out to

that someone... TODAY

NAPAC (click on icon)



For Children: Childline:

Are you a child who

needs to talk to someone?

ChildLine is here for YOU

Call ChildLine on UK 0800 1111

or visit the website.

Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre below:

The Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre is dedicated to eradicating the sexual abuse of children.

Part of UK policing about tracking and bringing offenders to account either directly or in partnership with local and international forces.

A list of worldwide Helplines (click on icon):

Links to Befrienders website for a

WORLDWIDE list of Helplines.


Citizens Advice Bureau (UK)

The Citizens Advice Bureau

provide FREE advice in the UK

Visit their website to find out more.



FAILED by the system

CLICK HERE to see more details on

how the system FAILED me and the

campaigning and exposure of this

I have done for over a decade

Queens response to my letter

The "Reaching out" Child Abuse Monument in Canada...


To find out more use this link

My video poem below 'Our Silence'

that will be inside the monument